week 01; thursday night, w/ dave.

[muties]

thursday night, roxy's room.

[ because all teen sons just want to have a slumber party with their moms. they're probably mostly just sitting there, playing with their tablets like the nerds they are. ]

I wish we could pester everyone back home, let 'em know what's the haps.

[ TG: were in space shit is gettin weird
TG: may have a killer ai idk yet well see

from either of them, actually. ]

Comments

[muties]

Yeah, that dude. [ roxy both wants to cut his hair and thinks it's cute.

... dave, why must you crush roxy's wizardy dreams. ] Fair 'nuff. It fo sho feels random, like. I know all these peeps don't come from the same place as us, that's kinda obvs. So I doubt anythins got anythin to do with, like, the shit goin down back home? IDK.

[ roxy is so surprised he's surprised?? she's the one who should be surprised, he's so cool? why wouldn't she want to hang out with him, wtf dave.

dave the rooms use handprint security hoW IS ANYONE GOING TO INTRUDE?? ]

Ok, I'll make a note of it but. He better fuckin' not. [ she's pretty sure dave could kick luke's ass, but if he touches her kid she will fucking wreck him?? FORGET A TRIAL, SHE WILL HANDLE THIS HERSELF ] Do you even have swords here?

[parodeity]

I think they're all from different universes, mostly. Like, a few pairs are from the same place, but I'd bet good money that otherwise? We're all from all the fuck over the place.

[ since they are homestucks from...two different universes...the idea of different universes being a thing is like "ok, so what else is new?". at least they can skip that brand of confusion.

also goddamn roxy like he knows how they will override that HE'S JUST REALLY WORRIED ABOUT HER WELL BEING SINCE SHE'S THE FIRST PARENTAL FIGURE WHO DOESN'T HATE HIM. ]

Yeah, our "personal items" or whatever were our swords. His is "backbiter" so he can actually say his, mine is like. Welsh. Jade kept tryin' to give it to me and it ended up here so. Whatever. I guess it is supposed to be able to kill Lord English or something?

[muties]

Yeppers. Like, I think hot dad and roboarm are from the same place, so are Mari and her boycrush. But then you got asshole elf and the zombie redcoat.

[ they are lucky in that regard, some people probably aren't acclimating quite as well as these weirdos.

dave pls. one of these days, roxy might realize that dave is really. weird about all of this and might realize something is off there, but right now she's still looking through a dirk lens for comparison and just chalks it up to that, even though. dave is obviously a lot more like her than he is dirk? she's not sure. ]

Woooow. I wish I'd gotten a gun or somethin, I feel gipped. [ pops the book out of her sylladex to show dave. ] Shit, that sounds cool. Lets rename it something not Welsh?

[parodeity]

Wait, you think reality tv show guy is hot? He's like the vainest dude to ever exist, don't hit on him, mom, c'mon. [ YOU'RE SO MUCH BETTER THAN JACK!!!!

actually dave is pretty sure most people are better than jack. ]

Fiona - hat lady kinda feels like lady Han Solo? - is from the same place as those two as well. I'm pretty sure they have the biggest number of same-verse people, though, it seems to be mostly sets of two.

[ For...whatever reason. ]

Also. One: of course you can rename my sword and two: is that a book by Rose holy fucking shit.

[muties]

You don't? He's got that, like. Older man leathery sexy look, tbqh. And knows about computers, I guess? But I'm not gonna hit on him he's like 80, god. [ mainly because he's sure to shoot her down BUT YEAH, SHE IS, SHE KNOWS THIS she sometimes has standards

it's tru ]

Is she? I gotta meet her, see if she's as hilar as her bros. Roboarm is a looker, too.

[ does roxy maybe think they're all siblings, maybe a little. either that or ot3. ]

Ok, I guess Swordy Herbert is a lil uncreative. [ PERKS UP ] Yeah! My verse her, obvs, but yes. It's the fifth volume of Complacency of the Learned.

[parodeity]

I find his mask a little bit weird, ngl. Also, his personality ain't remotely attractive.

[ dave says, even though he gets along with jack fine mostly by virtue of allowing jack to assume his deadpan remarks are sincere compliments. ]

Rhys is ok I guess?? They're all kinda old. Like. No offense to them.

[ wait

why is this turning into the girly gossip hour dave gives an exasperated sigh let's flip to the only topic that matters ]

The...fifth? Out of how many? Oh my dick we have to have storytime with Roxy. Can you like summarize the prev four or no?

[muties]

That's true.

[ on both counts though she likes jack well enough, she finds his assholery kind of funny?? for now, anyway. ]

There are younger hotties here too. Tense nerd guy, Luke, Jason, fur bikini girl, there are lot of lookers here. I mean, we're the hottest but.

[ no dave this is clearly what you want to do. ]

I had the first six in my sylladex 'fore. [ "how many" we don't know, dave ] Yeah, I could but... idk, it wouldn't be good as you gettin to read them? She was so good at writin', idk if I could capture the essence of it? I could try, tho.

[parodeity]

[ welp dave just went a bit red around "fur bikini girl" on that list because fuck if he didn't have an awkward convo with the fields earlier. NO. NO HE DOESN'T WANT TO DO THIS. ]

We are of course the hottest, I will concede that point.

[ but moving on to alt rose's ridiculous novels ]

I mean, I am down to you just readin' to me from this every night but I feel like I would get lost super quick without at least an overview of the first four? But like. Rose's post-scratch book-writing shenanigans are a thing I absolutely need in my life. How much psychoanalyzation is in there. I have to know.

[muties]

[ notes that blushu, guess who's getting a "could date dave" symbol on the cr chart.

but yes moving on. ]

NGL, you might get lost either way? They're pretty... dense, giant fuckin' doorstoppers. No one even knows how she made such a shitton of money off 'em. Black majjyk is suspected. But I can try, and maybe you can read the others later. Haha, probs a lot but. That nonsense is more Dirk's jam, he'd be able to give you a legit number on the psychoanalyzations then psychoanalyze it.

[parodeity]

Ok, I'm not surprised they're dense doorstoppers. I read some of Rose's wizard fic once and it was pretty hard to get through.

[ he...

wow he doesn't want to talk about dirk so he just doesn't address that comment... ]

We can make it a night-time ritual. Talk about Rose's wizardfic, hit the sack, and eventually work up to readin' a few pages of that doorstopper you have there after we get through the summaries of the first four.

[muties]

Oh yeah? You're gonna have to tell me how it compares! I bet it's just as good, even if she was just a youngin.

[ one of these days roxy is going to wonder why dave repeatedly skirts around talking about dirk, but for now she figures he's maybe just. sad that dirk isn't here, maybe? maybe dave idolized bro!dirk the same way dirk idolized bro!dave, or something. ]

Shit yes. It'll be bedtime storytime! [ which is a good parental thing to do heck yes. she wants to be a good teen mom, to make up for the fact that really dave would probs rather have dirk here. ] It'll be a good way to make sure we sleep soundly af and dream about wizards instead of the nonsense here.

[parodeity]

[ someday roxy will catch on and that day will be a sad day and a terrible private convo and it might even happen before one of them dies if they're...lucky? unlucky? who knows. dave will avoid the topic like the plague though. ]

Shit yes, just what I always wanted, dreams about old dudes with beards.