Entry tags:
week 06; thursday night, w/ dave.
thursday night, roxy's room
[ it's another strilonde sleepover, this time with actual sleeping. because it's like. 2am. or whatever.
admittedly nightmares featuring one's lack of self-worth and loneliness with extra alcohol don't really help facilitate actual sleeping, but she's not going to stab a b over it. she is the allegorical cockroach, it's her. the allegorical cockroach is just sleeping not-peacefully, up on the top bunk with dave on the bunk below.
dave is an allegorical question mark, though roxy has her Suspicions. but she hasn't asked, since until recently she hasn't felt it was really her business. sure she's his genetic mom and all but if he doesn't want to discuss his not-that-subtle issues who is she to pry? some random girl, that's who.
but when dave's allegorical question mark nightmare issues cause her to be woken up at ass o'clock and tumble out of her bunk expecting Death, then it's definitely her business DAVE WHAT THE FUCK ]
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[ ... ]
Why would it have something to do with him.
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[ hand gesture ]
Maybe that's not got nothing to do with your nightmares, but even my dumb eyes can see you've been avoiding the topic. Whereas if Dirk were here with Rose instead of you here with me, he'd be lowkey trying to hear everything about how super cool you are. And by lowkey I mean highkey tryin' to play lowkey 'cause you Striders love to look super unaffected like nerds.
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...you always say shit like that. [ shit that makes bro - dirk, what the fuck ever - seem like a person instead of a machine. why does dirk give a fuck about dave in another universe, and roxy and all these other people, but not dave in his own fucking universe? ]
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but look listen her problems are unimportant ]
Like what...? That you two are both shit at sharing and playin' it cool?
[ see, that's why roxy is so baffled. she doesn't know why dave has any qualms about bro!dirk, because she only knows her dirk. who loves his friends and family is not half as douchey as he almost seems. ]
Look, I've been trying not to be That Mom, but you can tell me shit. Any shit. Talk to me, dude. My ass is getting worried off over here.
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[ how is he broken here ]
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Davey...
[ she moves to sit on the bed beside him, putting a hand on his head. it takes her a moment to say anything else, because now she really wishes she had a crystal ball just to see how bro!dirk could have fucked up here with this perfect boy. ]
There's nothing wrong with you, you're perfect. No one could possibly hate you. It'd be like hating a fluffy cloud or a penguin.
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[ weeks later she'll see the video and maybe she'll get it but right now it's just dave at the end of his rope scared as fuck he'll become dirk someday or just break people into becoming like that or
he doesn't even know anymore ]
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really, why the fuck would anyone not love their family? like goddamn, roxy's spent 16 years wanting a family how could bro strider not give a shit about his. like. she can't quite imagine it. ]
Well, if that's true, then fuck him. Who cares what he thinks? If he didn't love the hell out of you, then his opinions are trash.
[ just pets his hair in a hopefully comforting way ]